Best Vibrators for College Students: Quiet Vibrators for Living with Roommates

Updated October 2019
Whether you’re moving into your freshman dorm or your first apartment, the best discreet vibrators — quiet and innocuous — will see you through some big milestones.

Welcome to college! Or, welcome to sleeping three feet away from a total stranger. This is likely the start of at least a decade of roommates, and no matter how well you get along, there are some things best kept to yourself. Whether you’re moving into your freshman dorm or your first apartment, Tidy Kitten has your back. Enter three of the best discreet vibrators: quiet, tiny, and disguised as everyday knick-knacks. First up is LELO’s Mia 2, a bullet vibrator masquerading as a lipstick; it beats out the competition thanks to LELO’s signature elegance and because it’s super quiet without sacrificing intensity. Runner-up Crave Duet Vibrator looks like a USB memory stick, but instead of backing up your Art History paper, it’ll provide “virtually silent” pleasure with its unique two-pronged tip. Store Cheap Thrill Crave Vesper in your jewelry box — it’ll fit right in with your other necklaces — and take it out to enjoy three intensity levels.

Sex Etiquette for Sharing Close Quarters

by Laura Shirk

Living with roommates is a rite of passage and possibly the most important lesson in sharing and respect you’ll get after kindergarten. And the great thing is, roommates can be a lot of fun! If you’re in college, a roommate means a built-in pre-game partner or dining hall companion. After college, a full house allows for regular family style dinners, Game of Thrones watch parties, and shared chores.

As great as living with roommates can be, though, we’ve all also experienced the roommate from hell. At some point, we’ve maybe even been the roommate from hell. There are a lot of little things that can sour a roommate relationship: different perspectives on tidiness, routinely “forgetting” your turn to take out the trash, “bringing the party home” a little too often.

And a big culprit of roommate friction? Sex. Somehow, the sex issue seems to encapsulate a lot of the little things that can turn roommates into enemies: space, noise level, time. Generally speaking, you probably don’t want to know too much about your roommate’s sex life. Guess what? The feeling is mutual.

But sex happens, even in tiny freshman dorm rooms. The best thing to do, of course, is to take your RA seriously when they recommend all new roommates have a serious conversation at the beginning of the year to outline room “policies” for overnight visitors and so on. Or, if you’re moving into an apartment with friends, to draw up a contract detailing the house rules.

The likelihood that this type of open communication will actually happen, though? Minimal, we know that. So we’ve taken the liberty of drawing up some sex etiquette guidelines to help you out. Sure, they may sound like common sense, predicated as they are on the belief that people should treat each other — and themselves — with respect. Unfortunately, though, we’ve been in enough weird living situations to realize that some things need to be spelled out.

Timing is everything

This is especially true in tiny dorms and shared rooms. No one should be “sexiled” or, worse, left wondering if you and your partner are going at it in the dark ten feet away. Chances are, your roommate’s class or work schedule will still leave ample time for you and your partner to enjoy each other. Same goes for solo play.

Location, location, location

NEVER have sex, with a partner or alone, in your roommate’s bed. To do otherwise is possibly the biggest sign of roommate disrespect, it’s practically declaring war. Generally, you’d be wise to keep sex out of shared spaces, too, but if you’re really jonesing for a shower session or romp on the couch, refer to Rule #1 and make sure no one else is currently home or expected home anytime soon.

Keep it down

Even if you have your own bedroom, do your roommates really need to know exactly what’s going down behind your closed door? And do you really want to have to argue about dishes in the sink with someone who knows what it sounds like when you orgasm? Didn’t think so. If you really can’t contain yourself, we recommend the noise-absorbing effects of a powerful fan and music — though for the latter, keep “quiet hours” in mind, too.

Invest in quiet, discreet toys

In light of Rule #3, you’d be wise to choose a vibrator that’s as quiet as possible. You also probably wouldn’t appreciate your roommate stumbling upon an obvious sex toy when looking for Scotch tape in your desk drawer. See our suggestions for the best discreet vibrators above.

Remember who’s a roommate and who isn’t

Oftentimes, you’ll see “roommate wanted” listings with a firm note about “no live-in partners.” If your partner isn’t actually a rent-paying tenant, they should not overstay their welcome. Their welcome? In this case, not determined by you, but by your actual roommates, who obviously aren’t going to want your partner around as much as you do. The same goes for the time you spend at your partner’s apartment: his roommates probably won’t enjoy waking up to find you hogging the bathroom every morning, either. Trade off between nights at each other’s apartments, spend a night or two apart, remember that you’re guests in each other’s homes. Small gestures — replacing the TP, bringing over a six-pack for the house to share, offering to take out the trash — will also go a long way in fostering goodwill.

With thin walls and connecting rooms, sex etiquette is based on providing maximum satisfaction for all. While it might require some compromise, loosely sticking to these tips will help to create lasting friendships – and just maybe a more exciting sex life.   

Kat Crookshanks